Resilient
1. springing back; rebounding.
2. returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched.
3. recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyant.
Resilient is something I am not. Our younger two children are apparently. They are 12 and 14. Boy child, 12, was immediately sad and shed tears upon hearing about my mom. Girl child, 14. She had a look of shock and then calmly stated she wasn’t surprised at all.
So today was our 2nd day of a ‘new normal’. Kids home, The Principal out of town…and I am still sad. It’s only been a week.
The kids act as if nothing has happened. That their Gran isn’t gone. I find myself annoyed with this fact. Life goes on. I get that. But shouldn’t it slow down for more than a WEEK! I am trying not to get easily annoyed with the little things. Picking up and whatnot….I feel like saying HELLO MY MOM JUST DIED COULD YOU HELP ME OUT HERE!?!? Could you put that bowl in the dishwasher without being asked twice….and the litter box….can you not smell that!?
Yes, I have my faith. Without it I really know I would be way worse off. I am human. I am sad. I am hurting. This is just a season.
Maybe I am afraid when the grief stops. When the sadness ends it means I have moved on. It means I am ok?
Oh, dear friend. 🙁 My thoughts have been with you all week, and wondering how the littlest ones were faring.
I’m sorry for you, that life can’t stop for you for as long as you need it to. I remember feeling that way when my big brother passed – I was angry at the whole world for continuing on as though nothing had happened. YOU take the time you need for YOUR grief. The world will keep spinning, and you can just jump back on when you’re ready.
I’m glad, for their sakes, that the kids haven’t fallen apart on you. Miss Em sounds like one strong, smart young woman. Don’t forget that they are likely grieving on the inside though, even if it isn’t showing for you to see.
Do take a few moments to speak with them about your feelings. They are old enough to understand. Let them know you would really benefit from not having to clean up their messes, not having to ask them to do things, and maybe some extra help around the house because you just don’t feel like it right now. They might understand more than you’d guess, if you just tell them.
Hang in there. I wish there was something I – or anyone – could say to help numb the hurt for awhile. But know that many are praying for you, and thinking of you. (((hugs)))
Thank you Julie. I think I will talk to them.
Katey, you WILL be okay. It may not seem like it now, but you will be. Your kids? You would be surprised at what they are feeling right now. They don’t know how to feel. Give them grace but DO sit everyone down for a family meeting and let them know how YOU are feeling and that you really need help because you’re barely keeping it together. Tell them that. Your kids have lived without their Grandma in their daily lives, so yes their lives are continuing. It would be different if she had lived with you, or next door. But they feel it. Teens internalize everything, and then it works its way back out in its time. Be ready for that. It may not be pretty. But for you, let the family know how you are doing (or not doing) and ask them to step it up. The other things teens are is somewhat self-focused. They may not even see that you are struggling… not because they don’t care, but because they just don’t look past the ends of their noses. Praying Grace abounds. Hang on to Him.
She did lice here Dawn. With us 🙁
Live