1. springing back; rebounding.

2. returning to the original form or position after being bent, compressed, or stretched.

3. recovering readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like; buoyant.

 

Resilient is something I am not.  Our younger two children are apparently.  They are 12 and 14.  Boy child, 12, was immediately sad and shed tears upon hearing about my mom.  Girl child, 14. She had a look of shock and then calmly stated she wasn’t surprised at all.

So today was our 2nd day of a ‘new normal’.  Kids home, The Principal out of town…and I am still sad. It’s only been a week.

The kids act as if nothing has happened. That their Gran isn’t gone. I find myself annoyed with this fact.  Life goes on. I get that. But shouldn’t it slow down for more than a WEEK! I am trying not to get easily annoyed with the little things. Picking up and whatnot….I feel like saying HELLO  MY MOM JUST DIED COULD YOU HELP ME OUT HERE!?!? Could you put that bowl in the dishwasher without being asked twice….and the litter box….can you not smell that!?

Yes, I have my faith. Without it I really know I would be way worse off. I am human. I am sad. I am hurting.  This is just a season. 

Maybe I am afraid when the grief stops. When the sadness ends it means I have moved on. It means I am ok?

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