Your name is part of your identity.
Your heritage.
My husband’s father didn’t raise him. Because of this, The Principal’s mom wanted him to change his last name to her maiden name. Partly to carry on her name and partly because my father in law wasn’t around to have the honor of The Principal to carry on his name (my words, not hers, but the basic idea)

Fast forward to my boys and being raised by The Principal. Until the last 2-3 years my ex-husband hasn’t been in their lives. I often wished they would let The Principal adopt them. To take his last name. Not something the Principal pushed. Looking back I now know why.

We are a family. Nothing will change that. But I was always careful when saying things like “Oh, hi, we are the Kautz family” because we weren’t all Kautz’s in that sense. When making a Geocaching name I went with Team Kautz….because we ARE a team. It still didn’t feel all inclusive.
When the boys went to the homeschool co-op I hyphenated their names…So people knew they were mine and also to know their younger siblings.

Now that the boys are older and have renewed their relationship, a bit, with their bio-dad, I am glad they didn’t change it.
I am glad my husband didn’t change his either.
He was born a Kautz.

He is leaving a different legacy than his father did. A legacy our Abba Father will be proud of.