Letting Satan win by not sharing my testimony because of past hurts by fellow Christians.
Not closing that chapter of pain. It comes up too often. That means I still have to deal with it.
We don’t want join a small group for fear of being hurt.
I offended somebody. That person went to my leadership/elder board instead of coming to me.
It came down to leadership telling my husband to get me to stop. “Get your wife under control.” My husband doesn’t lead that way. He doesn’t want to go to a church that has leadership that leads that way.
Was I wrong to tweet what I did? Did I know I was going to offend someone? No. It wasn’t my intention. It’s never my intention to offend anybody. Was I wrong to come to my tweeps (twitter peeps) and ask for prayer because I was torn at what to do. Maybe. At the time I didn’t think so.
The offended person followed me on twitter. Me and nobody else. Never tweeted. Completely under my radar. I haven’t shared the story of why we left our church that we had been attending for 5+ years.
Although I wouldn’t have not tweeted “Guys, we are thinking of leaving the church we have been at for years because I don’t like how leadership has dealt with an issue with my son” (not exact wording…they were deleted….but this is the just of it) I am happy to share more details if you ask.
We chose to take a break. We weren’t pursued by those that we offended. Nobody said come back. Nobody said lets work this out. There is my answer.
I feel like we were disposable because we didn’t play the game by the rules. We didn’t live our lives in a way that ‘looked good’ for the church. (side note: The Principal was on this leadership team being groomed for elder)
By tweeting that I was thinking about leaving the church we had been going to for 5yrs it made them ‘look bad’. They weren’t concerned with WHY I felt that way. They didn’t notice my tweets when I was crying out in grief when my mom passed away. They were only concerned how my tweet to my 1500+ followers made them look.
If only the person whom I first offended had come to me and talked to me we may still be there.
Instead they invited people to the ‘offense party’ by sharing it with leadership. I’m guilty of it too. Asking for advice on what to do from a friend that had moved out of the area that used to attend the church. Also from a friend that didn’t go to the church, but was in small group. I, at the time, didn’t think it was wrong. I couldn’t turn to the ones that weren’t happy with my behavior. They were, to me, unapproachable.
This has wounded The Principal and I on different levels.
I shared my crap. I can write about my abortion or my infidelity here all day long.
But when you are face to face with somebody. In RELATIONSHIP and you share. That makes you vulnerable.
I don’t know if I can share on that level again.
For The Principal. He lost a friend. A very close friend. A friend that told him when he had issues with another longtime friend don’t stop calling him, don’t stop pursuing that friendship. You CAN repair it. It’s the “Christian thing to do.”
Guess who never called. Never tried to repair what was done.
The wounds are deep. Your fellow Christian’s don’t hurt you.
Are we letting Satan win? Is he winning because now we won’t share our testimonies for fear of getting hurt? We won’t join a small group and be in relationship again because we are wounded. We aren’t glorifying God by not sharing ourselves or our testimony.
Yes. Sadly this is letting Satan win….
https://mamakautz.com/wounded-christian/Christian Livingblogging for 1Letting Satan win by not sharing my testimony because of past hurts by fellow Christians. Not closing that chapter of pain. It comes up too often. That means I still have to deal with it. We don't want join a small group for fear of being hurt. I offended somebody. That...Mama Kautz firstname.lastname@example.orgAdministratorMama Kautz - The Essential Prepper