Wounded Christian
Letting Satan win by not sharing my testimony because of past hurts by fellow Christians.
Not closing that chapter of pain. It comes up too often. That means I still have to deal with it.
We don’t want join a small group for fear of being hurt.
I offended somebody. That person went to my leadership/elder board instead of coming to me.
It came down to leadership telling my husband to get me to stop. “Get your wife under control.” My husband doesn’t lead that way. He doesn’t want to go to a church that has leadership that leads that way.
Was I wrong to tweet what I did? Did I know I was going to offend someone? No. It wasn’t my intention. It’s never my intention to offend anybody. Was I wrong to come to my tweeps (twitter peeps) and ask for prayer because I was torn at what to do. Maybe. At the time I didn’t think so.
The offended person followed me on twitter. Me and nobody else. Never tweeted. Completely under my radar. I haven’t shared the story of why we left our church that we had been attending for 5+ years.
Although I wouldn’t have not tweeted “Guys, we are thinking of leaving the church we have been at for years because I don’t like how leadership has dealt with an issue with my son” (not exact wording…they were deleted….but this is the just of it) I am happy to share more details if you ask.
We chose to take a break. We weren’t pursued by those that we offended. Nobody said come back. Nobody said lets work this out. There is my answer.
I feel like we were disposable because we didn’t play the game by the rules. We didn’t live our lives in a way that ‘looked good’ for the church. (side note: The Principal was on this leadership team being groomed for elder)
By tweeting that I was thinking about leaving the church we had been going to for 5yrs it made them ‘look bad’. They weren’t concerned with WHY I felt that way. They didn’t notice my tweets when I was crying out in grief when my mom passed away. They were only concerned how my tweet to my 1500+ followers made them look.
If only the person whom I first offended had come to me and talked to me we may still be there.
Instead they invited people to the ‘offense party’ by sharing it with leadership. I’m guilty of it too. Asking for advice on what to do from a friend that had moved out of the area that used to attend the church. Also from a friend that didn’t go to the church, but was in small group. I, at the time, didn’t think it was wrong. I couldn’t turn to the ones that weren’t happy with my behavior. They were, to me, unapproachable.
This has wounded The Principal and I on different levels.
I shared my crap. I can write about my abortion or my infidelity here all day long.
But when you are face to face with somebody. In RELATIONSHIP and you share. That makes you vulnerable.
I don’t know if I can share on that level again.
For The Principal. He lost a friend. A very close friend. A friend that told him when he had issues with another longtime friend don’t stop calling him, don’t stop pursuing that friendship. You CAN repair it. It’s the “Christian thing to do.”
Guess who never called. Never tried to repair what was done.
The wounds are deep. Your fellow Christian’s don’t hurt you.
Are we letting Satan win? Is he winning because now we won’t share our testimonies for fear of getting hurt? We won’t join a small group and be in relationship again because we are wounded. We aren’t glorifying God by not sharing ourselves or our testimony.
Yes. Sadly this is letting Satan win….
I’m so sorry that you were hurt. Is it possible that this is only for a season, and not a “never again” thing? Sometimes, we need a break for a little while… But, in the next season of life, we move on to something else. Maybe this isn’t the case for you, but I hate to know that you are hurting. I’ll be praying for you and your family. God bless you for being so honest! That could not have been easy to write.
Thank you for praying!
Ack!!! I knew you said our stories and paths were similar…but wow.
So let me start by saying this: Look at this differently. (It’s what I had to learn) One of the biggest lessons I learned is that some Christians give Satan entirely too much glory. Spend some time really reading the first chapter of Job. Then head over to Luke 22:31. (and hopefully you downloaded the book SIfted that talk so much about. If not, I’ll loan it to you on Kindle)
Because in the end, God is always in control even if it looks like Satan is winning. God is giving permission for the testing and sifting–and what I’ve learned is that God absolutely tries and test and sifts those He loves and trusts.
Satan doesn’t get the glory here. God gets the glory for showing you this situation in your life. Maybe He needed to move you to a place that you wouldn’t think of on your own and maybe the only way to get you to see it is through a little conflict? (I know in my case, that happens often.)
Maybe you were growing as He needed you to grow. The reasons are as endless as eternity and I can’t guess what God is up to in my own life (let alone yours!!) But what I’m saying is (and I’m saying it LOUDLY!!) NO. You are NOT at fault for asking for advice from trusted, Christ-following friends. BETTER that they were from outside of your congregation, that means unbiased counsel. Seeking like-minded Christians out for advice/counsel is Biblical.
What the others did to you was NOT Biblical. And they can wrap it up in any package they want, the fact will remain that they’re not following
Also. The simple fact that you’re sharing your testimony here is proof that Satan doesn’t get glory here. Sometimes our circles of influence are not spoken to by our mouths but by our words.
And no, you are not wrong for not wanting to be another group right now. Please read about how often Jesus went alone to pray to be away from the people. Jesus is Lord of lords and King of kings and he had to escape to be alone. He will honor your need to heal and He will heal you. You need only abide in Him.
You are amazing you know that right?
Y’know what my “word” from God has been for over a year now? (This and the pruning message have been mine):
“Michelle, stay on your toes. Satan has tried his best to separate all of you from me, like chaff from wheat. Michelle, I’ve prayed for you in particular that you not give in or give out. When you have come through the time of testing, turn to your companions and give them a fresh start.”